Why? No, I don’t have scaly skin, thank God. Nor do I have a desire to skulk around in the weeds waiting for stray Wildebeest.

I death roll. I must. It’s the only explanation I can come up with for waking up every morning tangled up in a roll of bedclothes while my boyfriend lays there exposed.

When this occurs, I can’t pinpoint.

However it must be quite the sight to see someone sleeping calmly suddenly go into a vicious series of rolls that collect all the bedclothes.

I haven’t always done this, it seems to be a recent development that I’m wondering may be the result of the new pillow I use. I have one of those memory foam pillows with the curves on one side for back and side sleepers.

It could be that sometime during the night I just can’t find a good position to lay on and start rolling. Or, it could be that I’m dreaming of trying to tear off a tasty chunk of rotting hippo.

*turns green* Seeing as I don’t recall any dreams like that so I’m going to assume the latter isn’t the case.

Trouble is, I don’t know how to make it stop, and I’m starting to worry that the boyfriend is going to figure out a way before I do. If he does, I doubt I’ll be happy about it.

Deserving of it, probably, but not happy about it.